How To Write An Elopement Letter

Today we’re talking about how to write an elopement letter! As more and more couples who are eloping look to include friends and family, the art of letter writing has become one of the most meaningful ways to involve loved ones. While not everyone can summit a mountain with us at 5am, their words of wisdom, inside jokes, and pure love can be carried up that mountain. This blog post is here to help anyone who has been asked to write a letter for the happy couple and to help provide some guidance and ideas to help make your letter more meaningful.

You don’t have to be an amazing writer to write a meaningful (and often tear-jerking) letter. The relationship you’ve built over the years, the support you’ve shown–that’s where the heart and beauty of this letter is going to come from. So don’t feel obligated to write anything fancy or out of the normal for you. This is your moment to be vulnerable (in a private way) and share your love in a way that can be treasured forever.

brides reading letters on elopement day

Go Through Old Photos

Often times the best way to reflect on our relationships in life is by looking through old photos or photo albums. And in the digital age, that might even mean looking back on Facebook albums or Instagram photos. Either way, photos bring us back to a moment, make us feel nostalgic, and it might just give you the spark of inspiration for something you want to share with this couple. So if you’re struggling for words or looking for that extra touch, sometimes going down memory lane will jog the memories you were looking for.

Don’t Procrastinate!

We say the same thing for our couples about writing their vows. It can be easy to put off writing this letter until the last minute. But we want to make sure the couple has your letter in advance so they can bring it with them on the trip! We have seen loved ones write letters via email, but we definitely recommend sitting down and writing them by hand. Your physical letter will become such a treasured item for them to hold onto and reflect on your words! Also, we don’t have signal in most of these places. So if they don’t access the email beforehand, they might not be able to read it while out on the trail with us! So a physical letter helps a lot!

Be Vulnerable

This is a very special moment for you and for the couple. Sometimes what we can’t say with action, we can express even better with words. So please take this moment to really dig deep and express yourself. In person, this can be challenging and bring us to tears. But in the form of a letter, we can usually say so much more! Remember that the only people reading this letter will be the person you’re writing it for.

If you’re struggling with what to write about, we’ve made the list of questions below to help guide your writing process:


  • Talk About The Journey: What did it take for you to get here? Were there any hardships you went through that helped you grow closer? Were there any significant experiences you went through together? What does it mean for you as a loved one to finally see them find their special person in life?
  • Talk About Them: What qualities/traits do you love most about them? What’s your proudest moment? What growth have you seen in them over the years?
  • Talk About Their Relationship: What makes their partner such a good fit for them? What qualities of their relationship do you admire? What’s your favorite memory/moment with both of them?
  • Pass Along Your Wisdom: Take a moment to reflect on your own life journey and pass along any wisdom. This is such a beautiful moment to share those thoughts!
  • Make A Joke: By now, you probably have them in tears! A well timed joke can break the tension and allow them to stop crying for a moment and let out a good laugh. Share a funny inside joke, your funniest memory together, or anything lighthearted!
  • Talk About The Future: What are you most excited about for this couples’ future? How would you like to be a part of their community/family moving forward?

bride and groom reading elopement letters on a picnic bench

Use A Notebook (optional)

Letters can get beat up over the years. So if you really feel like going above and beyond for the couple, you can use a Field Notes notebook or another slim notebook to write your letter (you could pick something up easily at Walmart, Target, Amazon, etc). These are just more packable and durable–which is important for adventure elopements 🙂 But also, your notebook can be a cute keepsake for them to reflect on for years to come.

To this day, I still have a letter from a high school english teacher that’s wrinkled with water and coffee stains. It’s such a treasured memory for me, and believe it or not, I still reflect on her wisdom for big life decisions! So a slim notebook would definitely be more durable. 10 years later and it’s not as legible as it used to be!

Final Thoughts

This is not the only thing you can do to be a part of their elopement day. And while your words will carry so much meaning and weight, we’re not here to box you in on what’s possible. Maybe for you, you express yourself better through crochet, singing, art, casseroles, photos, scrapbooks, dinners, or whatever else. We all express love differently, and I think it’s important we sit down sometimes and put pen to paper. But beyond a letter, feel free to express your love in whatever way feels right to you.

And thank you for doing this. We have seen so many couples be moved to tears with their loved ones letters and it’s always good for them to know you love them and support them for doing what they want to do but still bring you along on the trail!

SHARE THIS STORY